8 Important Reasons To Let Go Of People Who No Longer Play An Important Part In Your Life

Picture of friends

Read an interesting article earlier about letting go. (Read more here) Frankly I think it may be a little bit selfish to leave a friend just for the following reasons listed. However, no. 6 and no.7 really hit me. I think I am done trying to keep people in my life. Really. So tired of trying to catch up with people when they reluctantly make excuses.

So tired. Done trying. I’ll just see who cares enough to stay.


 

“If someone truly loves you, cares for you or wants and needs you, the person will never allow you to invest disproportionate effort.”

The recipe for friendship:

1/3 SELF-SACRIFICE
1/3 LOYALTY
1/3 REAL COMMITMENT

I was overwhelmed when I listened to the NLT version of 1 Samuel today. (Yes go listen to audio bibles on your Bible app or via online here) The friendship between Jonathan and David left me in tears.

In life, we have probably have had countless acquaintances, many friends, but how many do we consider our close friend? Or “best” friend.

Everybody needs that friend whom you can share your hopes and dreams with. The one who will encourage you in pursuing those dreams yet rebuke you when you are going down the wrong path. A friend who is there not only through the good times, but also the bad—through thick and thin. Someone who will stand by you (and maybe for you) when the world is against you.

It is true that the test of trials simply reveal a true friendship. It is easy because you rarely find that. The busy life of the modern society has left little time for interaction but more for “self-discovering” or in other words “me time”. Friendship sometimes may seem like a chore. Often asking how a person is, bothering about their daily routines and little joys they share; friendship seems like a mundane task of always pestering someone and insisting on being in that person’s life, just to show you care. And more importantly that you are there when they need you. Rare? Indeed. It is undoubtedly true that friends may come and go, but to have a lifelong, close, personal friendship is truly a great blessing.

Many years ago, a beautiful friendship was formed between two of the most unlikely men of their society:

Jonathan was a prince

A prince of Israel’s very first King. Destined to rule in the event of his father’s death – he had everything he wanted. He could meet anybody he wanted and chose his friends from the most valiant of princes. People of status and wealth. Jonathan was aware of the blessings he would receive if his father was obedient. Yet, he remained the God-fearing, bold, determined man that he was. A mighty warrior himself, Jonathan relied on God and trusted in His strength. For instance when he and his armour bearer were instructed, they both went up against twenty Philistines. This inspired courage in his father and the army which led to a victorious battle.

David was a shepherd

The youngest of the family, David was left to tend the sheep. He was a gifted musician, a wise and prudent warrior and also very good looking. But David too was destined for the throne. He was married to Saul’s daughter Michal and this made him a prince and Jonathan his brother-in-law. Saul knew that if David was not taken care of Jonathan would never be king.

Despite their differences, “(ESV) the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. (ERV) He would not let David go back home to his father. After David finished talking with Saul, Jonathan developed a strong friendship with David.” Jonathan realized that they shared much in common in the areas of courage, bravery, strength, loyalty, trust and faith in God. They had an instant liking.

David and Jonathan

Jonathan was willing to forego his throne for David. He loved David so much he disobeyed his father to save David’s life. Often he would warn him before any trouble could befall on David. He would travel to see David and ensure that his loyalty was made known to David. Jonathan even made a pact: (1 Samuel 20:14-16, NLT) “And may you treat me with the faithful love of the Lord as long as I live. But if I die, treat my family with this faithful love, even when the Lord destroys all your enemies from the face of the earth.” So Jonathan made a solemn pact with David, saying, “May the Lord destroy all your enemies!”” By saying this, Jonathan knew that David’s enemy was his own father – King Saul. Yet he made this pact with David. He even tried to reason with his father and defended David’s innocence. Due to life-threatening circumstances David had to run for his live. Nevertheless from then on, they were separated but their friendship stood till the end.

Wow. There is much to learn from the friendship of Jonathan and David. They were both princes of Israel, one by birth, the other by marriage. Both were in line to assume the throne of Israel. Both were mighty men of valor and were respected and trusted by the men they led in battle. Each had accomplished great feats, relying on God for victory. They were zealous, driven, resourceful, courageous, bold, meek, humble and so much more. They knew and respected government, wielded authority, and served those under and over them. They were loyal to one another and to their king. David would never lay a hand on Saul even though he was given the chance to. He revered God’s choice of appointing him as the first King of Israel.

In todays context, they could have been enemies and rivals, yet they set aside jealousy, resentment, bitterness, competition and lust for power (A THRONE HEY), choosing instead to become the closest of friends. They knew how and when to laugh, cry, show their emotions, share hopes and dreams together, thereby cementing their friendship forever. They were real men, who understood what it meant to lay down their lives for one another.

Wow, have you ever thought of dying for a friend? Even today, giving a lift, sacrificing precious time, going out of your way for a friend seems like a monumental task. What more to say dying for a friend? No exaggeration but sometimes I feel like people really take their friendships for granted. Selfish as we humans are we rarely prioritise anyone other than ourselves. Everything must have a benefit – even our friends. Really? Just because he’ll be a worthy connection for future businesses? Because she can help do your assignments. Because you need him to explain to you that formulae you didn’t really understand.

Seriously… how fake can we get? Sadly I’ve seen it. Heard of it.

How blessed are we if we ever are privileged enough to have just a small part of David and Jonathan’s friendship. So much to think.

Got me thinking too – what kind of friend am I?

 

Articles referred to: RCGFERVR

Ronald

So happy you liked the video. It is okay if he never reads this, but I thank Jesus for bringing Ron into the world years ago. Well, I shall begin from day one. Like everybody else, I thought he was together with Amelia. They were school mates since forever and even in Uni they kept staying close to each other only… so I was like.. kay never mind. Will not disturb. After the first week, Melia announced that she is not with Ron hahah they were just friends – the english magazine really brought us together and helped break all the tension. I have to admit, Ron’s short story was terrible. His english… I think he did it like an hour before the deadline. Since then we started taking short trips after the first field trips. We would all have lunch together. And sometimes Ron will take us all out.

When finals were around the corner, they all stayed back to study. Ron didn’t really stay except when he needed help with English (Our english is actually called “academic and communication skills and they are really a pain – with super strict grading). But by the end of the semester, we started going to the gym, having suppers 24/7, watching midnight movies, cooking at Fien’s house. By the second semester we were all badass enough to play CS (Counter Strike) and we got out ID’s recorded. Haaaa. But till today, Ron remembers I killed him – super funny when he found out it was me. Anyway.

These guys were like my second family there. Ron or Javan would never mind sending me to and fro from the airport every time I went back. I probably will never say this to their faces but I am so so grateful each time I see their faces in the airport.

So grateful, because I know when I go back to Kuching away from home (oh how dreadful)  I will be actually going to my other home – with those familiar faces.

No, Ron isn’t like an extraordinary gentlemen that will go all out to be nice. But he is nice. In our last semester, his car over heated. The next day he thought it would be okay already. So we went out for lunch. Luckily Fien was in the car (His dad is a mechanic so he knows cars). The car over heated and we had to stop. It couldn’t start and we were really stuck. We tried everything – poor Ron he didn’t know what to do. Fien did what we could but we were stuck. So Ron’s dad told him to drive to a nearby shop and leave the car there for the mechanic to collect. We had lunch AND HE PAID FOR US… like zomg, we are the reason your car spoil then you still want to pay? Heeh.

But he is funny to talk to and he loves HIMYM. In our third semester when we were all stressed up for 3 units we had to choose our degrees too. He could never really make up his mind. After classes he agreed to come back and study. We went to the comp lab and agreed if we studied we would watch HIMYM’s latest episode. But we didn’t study, we just watched HIMYM haha. While waiting for the parking to be free (10pm you leave uni its free parking) we went up to the bridge and he talked about his work. AHH that boy hahaha, he told me he used to write those price signs. Those big numbers you see in the supermarkets – “0.99 cents” only kind. Hahahahaha and this is the boy who got the cinemas wrong. He so gan cheong when he read the text because he was a little bit late – he ended up almost half an hour late. So freaking funny. Underneath all that hiao-ness I know he’s a lot more. I would never trade anything to know him (& the other bros).

As weird as he listens to Drenched and other emo Chinese songs alot, as funny as his lame shares on facebook are (he always shares lame funny pictures), as lifelessly addicted he plays dota – he is still Ron Ron that will take me go Mcd at midnight – cause we’re hungry. Then we go back and annoy those studying in the chilling crib. Those were the days – thanks for everything.  🙂 

Photo on 2013-10-22 at 15.06Picture taken on my laptop (Eng Maths B) – 22/10/2013, 3.06pm

Happy birthday Ron!

#BBF – (Best bros fiveever)

#643

Hello all!

I just got accepted into a decent Uni. Yayers, so excited and happy. Finally feel a little bit secure of my future plans. Hope everything else goes well. These past few days… have been happening. Exhausted emotionally and physically. This morning’s email for my acceptance really made my day. So, thanks God.

Also, today is a happy day for my bimbo. I have not done this in a long time but it is my best friend’s birthday! So here is a post dedicated to her. Happy 19th birthday Qing Hua! I really hope you can read the writing behind the card. Really enjoyed making your card, I know you love it. Well, I hope you will receive cards every year on your birthday from me. (No matter how far away or where you are in the world) I am so happy to be here (finally, no MSSD, Kuching whatever) with you on your special day. And I hope that you will have a good one. Please stay safe in Penn State. I will miss you a lot but I am so grateful for your presence. You are my favourite bimbo and you should know that. Thanks for always hanging out with me. 🙂



Darling, just swear you’ll stay, right by my side.

Be My Forever, Christina Perri ft. Ed Sheeran

#630

After being out of high school (which felt like a lifetime) I finally met up with them guys. Best seniors – the ones that will drive all the way to Kuala Selangor just to watch the race. Turns out they’re all doing so well, such fine men already! So good to see how much we’ve all been through – how far we’ve come.

Haha okay sentimental much, but oh man talking about MSSD & MSSS etc makes me miss those care free times so much. Was the best season of my life where school and training was pretty much my life.

Time to grow up.

Psalm 39:4

“Show me, LORD, my life’s end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting my life is.”
Because every sunrise is a blessing; credits
Just 2 years ago I had to say goodbye to a very dear friend. I wouldn’t exactly claim to be his closest buddy but he was the nicest guy with the best intentions. Up till the very last meeting we had. Today, one of my church friend’s brother passed on in a car accident early this morning. I do not know him very well but I knew his brother. He was co-leading a games group in camp with me. Like the psalmist David says, teach us to number our days. Life is too short.
We were given the privilege to live each day we wake up, what are we living for?

I hope my answer is Jesus. Because He is everything and He means everything.

The Friendship Exodus,

Lately with all the sharing of articles, vines, videos and etc. on facebook, I feel like this social network has become somewhat crowded. However on rare occasions, you find some titles that catches your eye. For me, this was an eye-catcher, “The Friendship Exodus of Your 20s”. One of my ex- schoolmate shared it. (read it here) Okay maybe the fact that i’m barely 20 doesn’t qualify me for it but I still find it somewhat relevant. Considering the fact that I left home immediately after high school to study else where. I found some truth in it. Anyway, what is a friend?
First and foremost, friends don’t let each other do silly things alone.
All through high school i’ve had the craziest bunch of friends. Shouting when no one was, making a big havoc in school events, shouting like baboons when someone we knew went up the stage. This is something I didn’t miss in Uni. Instead it “leveled-up”. Honestly, my class is one heck of a group. Their insane – no joke. But there was this one person contributing to the majority of insanity among us all – this girl friend was a genius, hence uni classes were like play time to her. Always making a huge deal about everything – basically there were just noisy. Yea, you guys are probably rolling your eyes in frustration. I know, there’s always that one person who never studies in school but yet gets all the HDs and A*. Despite feeling annoyed sometimes, you cannot help but join in all the silly things she does. In one occasion, she had this clump of raffia string, (like a mini mop without the stick) and knowing her, she put it on her head, and started laughing like crazy. On the same day, she was dressed in overalls and a very bright green shirt. Oh and a neon coloured beanie……. We’ve been embarrassed all the times we’ve stayed back to study in the open lab, library etc. But its okay, as long as we’re being silly together, craziest class/bunch of friends I must say.
Secondly, friends break the rules together. Ngeheh
I remember my last night in Swinburne so clearly. We came back from a rather fancy hangout place “Porkies”. Feeling so flyyy and it was only 10pm, so we decided to get tea and coffee and hangout in uni. Technically hanging out in Uni is allowed (considering there were 24/7 study hubs and labs), but we were on the bridge. Since semester 1 we have spent late nights on that bridge. Especially after exams. So anyway we went up again and decided to play truth or dare. After awhile, we noticed that there were guards posted under the bridge. We really did try to keep our noise level down, but then it was JJ’s turn. His dare was to dance like the Miley in “Wrecking ball” (his favourite song btw). Silly boi, dance until the guard saw us and started shouting……….  towards our direction, (he could not see all of us). Like naive kids we immediately ran. I know it was not a big deal but the adrenaline pumping through my blood into my heart was like before a race. No, we did not get caught but it felt like such a bad-ass thing to do. Haha by the time we sat down again our faces were all flushed. Oh and during our supper sessions (12am onwards) we’ve sat in the middle of the main road, and took pictures to prove to our other classmates. Lolol,  sneak into the gym without cards.  Okayyyy maybe not breaking the rules or being so bad-ass but you get the point.
Friends are always up for adventures!
After our very first semester we packed our cars and set out to the beach. So syok cause finals were over. Being the cheapskates we were; we only booked a room for 15 of us. I wasn’t planning to stay but around 8 of them were. Well they ended up camping at a nearby R&R sorta complex playing truth or dare. Sleepless the whole night. Oh and for the magazine we produced we spent hours taking decent photos. On the pedestrian bridge. Once we wanted a decent light photo with a dark background. We went into the eerie multi-storey car park. One of my buds saw something. We left and never talked about it again. Friends are always up for adventures, even if it means a movie that starts in 10 mins.. Or midnight cravings for Mcd, Spaghetti day, Omelette competitions, late night suppers. Adventures also consist of sweaty Sundays lugging my stuff over to a new rooms – and cleaning up afterwards. But mostly, adventures are suppers, suppers and more suppers.
Finally, no matter what friends are always there for you.
Even if it means a text to make you smile, skype calls, or random buzzes. Distance don’t matter yo. Friends are the ones that will take you to two hospitals at 10pm on a school night just for your silly sprained ankle. Friends are those that buys you starbucks just because you’re going to see the doctor. And friends are always the ones you have supper with. Whether its the day before finals, or after. It don’t matter yo, friends are always there for you. Always.
THAT IS WHY I LOVE YOU GUYS, TWENTY FORCES.
It is sad that the next chapter of my life does not revolve around you guys, but I love the times we’ve had together.  Bros for life k.
However dear readers, if you have not experienced any kind of friendships or prefer to be alone all the time – worry not. This is why God invented:
And the story of your life can be like me rn:
On a more serious note, this cliché saying seems more than relevant.
“Friends listen to your stories, best friends create them with you”

“People and priorities spread apart — moving away, following different paths and new dreams. It’s neither leaving each other behind nor choosing something better, but the natural exodus of friendship in your twenties. It’s a time of change and goodbyes, of new beginnings somewhere else and making it on your own. A period of coming and going, of clinging to the familiar while simultaneously flinging yourself into the unknown. ” (Source)
Photo credits here.