flawed to perfection


Let me be the first to say that the last couple of weeks have not been my “most spiritual” season of my life. I am definitely working on it but after what I’ve been through I feel like there was a reason for the lack of time spent with Jesus (as in reading the Bible etc). Don’t get me wrong, I am still constantly talking to him and what not. But I’ve learned to grasp (maybe just a little bit) this faith thing. Wow, writing this, I am just blown away.

I am appalled at the many times I’ve tried to earn my “hours” with God. Calculating the hours spent reading or praying. Cause really, Isaiah 64:6 “All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags; we all shrivel up like a leaf, and like the wind our sins sweep us away.” We will never be good, or even come close to being “holy” enough for God. Sad but true. I would often think of how I was throughout the day and be disappointed in myself.

However, the word holy is synonymous with godly. And really. Me? Nah, I can never even come close to that. Wow. But I am constantly blown away by how God confirms again and again that with FAITH, he has completed us to perfection.

I’ve always imagined the flawed person I am as cracks in the pavement. Everyone knows that driving on roads like that make the journey bumpy. Jesus is the tar that is constantly making the cracked pavement smooth. Filling in all the cracks, all my flaws, taking my sins, and making everything perfect again. But think about this, if we are already trying to fill the cracks with something not as good as tar, it wears off easily?

I’ve been constantly reminded over and over that I should stop striving. Stop trying to be in control of filling the cracks with useless materials. Because I am a sinner. I will constantly sin. Regardless of how holy I aim to be. Because whatever Jesus did on the cross, it satisfied the heart of God forever. Yet, in the light of forgiveness – Jesus takes my brokenness aside and He makes it beautiful. No matter how many time I mess up.

Forgive my rants, but I think it is very much relevant to me. I know it may seem repetitive but Joseph Prince phrased it perfectly when he said “The secret behind every godly man and woman is their belief in the truth that they have been forgiven”.

Man. I do not know what I just wrote, but I do know that Jesus calls us higher each day, to live to the standard of perfection that He has set. To acknowledge that it is possible, because He has completed us to do so.

Wow. Jesus. You are definitely my favourite.



Earlier this evening, Dad said something that upset my sister. No, it was not something as dreadful as her reaction. In fact it was so minor if Dad said it to me, I would have just shrugged it off.

But my baby sister is so used to reacting a certain way. I wouldn’t call it a tantrum, but she throws one of these fits and starts grunting/complaining.

Mind you. She does this frequently.
Being the youngest and most spoiled – this kind of behaviour is usually excusable…. except that she has been doing so much of it lately.

So I told her off, told her to start acting like a big girl and speak with words and explain why she was frustrated.

She did not stop immediately, but eventually she grew quiet. Then, she left the room cause my other sister told her to.

About an hour later, she came in telling us she was going to bed already. She apologised and said “Sorry Jie”.


Okay, let me backtrack here and enlighten you a little bit. My baby sister is invincible. The whole too-cute-and-youngest-child-so-I-cant-do-no-wrong thing is really her. Anything she does is forgivable – hence she lacks the need to actually apologise for anything. If I remember correctly, she never apologise unless instructed to do so (or it is really her fault – she can’t find a way to avoid the blame). So you see, she’s always forgiven quickly.

But today, she apologised. To me. This can only mean one thing – baby girl is finally growing up!

Just had to write sorry, okay bye! 🙂 Have a great Sunday everyone, God bless!

the unplanned gap year

Hi there you curious ones.

“Where are you studying?”, “Are you still on break?”, “What are you planning to major in?”, “I thought you are going Australia?”, “Aren’t you suppose to leave already?” and etc/

Thank for flooding me with questions every time we meet up. For the convenience of me not repeating my story countless times. I am going to explain myself here. Worry not friends, I shall answer all the above and hopefully clear your doubts. (Not like you really care hehe) Unplanned gap year: I think my blog title really answered a few questions but I shall tell you everything. How I got to where I am today. If you uhm really still want to read more then go ahead.

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8 Important Reasons To Let Go Of People Who No Longer Play An Important Part In Your Life

Picture of friends

Read an interesting article earlier about letting go. (Read more here) Frankly I think it may be a little bit selfish to leave a friend just for the following reasons listed. However, no. 6 and no.7 really hit me. I think I am done trying to keep people in my life. Really. So tired of trying to catch up with people when they reluctantly make excuses.

So tired. Done trying. I’ll just see who cares enough to stay.


“If someone truly loves you, cares for you or wants and needs you, the person will never allow you to invest disproportionate effort.”

The recipe for friendship:


I was overwhelmed when I listened to the NLT version of 1 Samuel today. (Yes go listen to audio bibles on your Bible app or via online here) The friendship between Jonathan and David left me in tears.

In life, we have probably have had countless acquaintances, many friends, but how many do we consider our close friend? Or “best” friend.

Everybody needs that friend whom you can share your hopes and dreams with. The one who will encourage you in pursuing those dreams yet rebuke you when you are going down the wrong path. A friend who is there not only through the good times, but also the bad—through thick and thin. Someone who will stand by you (and maybe for you) when the world is against you.

It is true that the test of trials simply reveal a true friendship. It is easy because you rarely find that. The busy life of the modern society has left little time for interaction but more for “self-discovering” or in other words “me time”. Friendship sometimes may seem like a chore. Often asking how a person is, bothering about their daily routines and little joys they share; friendship seems like a mundane task of always pestering someone and insisting on being in that person’s life, just to show you care. And more importantly that you are there when they need you. Rare? Indeed. It is undoubtedly true that friends may come and go, but to have a lifelong, close, personal friendship is truly a great blessing.

Many years ago, a beautiful friendship was formed between two of the most unlikely men of their society:

Jonathan was a prince

A prince of Israel’s very first King. Destined to rule in the event of his father’s death – he had everything he wanted. He could meet anybody he wanted and chose his friends from the most valiant of princes. People of status and wealth. Jonathan was aware of the blessings he would receive if his father was obedient. Yet, he remained the God-fearing, bold, determined man that he was. A mighty warrior himself, Jonathan relied on God and trusted in His strength. For instance when he and his armour bearer were instructed, they both went up against twenty Philistines. This inspired courage in his father and the army which led to a victorious battle.

David was a shepherd

The youngest of the family, David was left to tend the sheep. He was a gifted musician, a wise and prudent warrior and also very good looking. But David too was destined for the throne. He was married to Saul’s daughter Michal and this made him a prince and Jonathan his brother-in-law. Saul knew that if David was not taken care of Jonathan would never be king.

Despite their differences, “(ESV) the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. (ERV) He would not let David go back home to his father. After David finished talking with Saul, Jonathan developed a strong friendship with David.” Jonathan realized that they shared much in common in the areas of courage, bravery, strength, loyalty, trust and faith in God. They had an instant liking.

David and Jonathan

Jonathan was willing to forego his throne for David. He loved David so much he disobeyed his father to save David’s life. Often he would warn him before any trouble could befall on David. He would travel to see David and ensure that his loyalty was made known to David. Jonathan even made a pact: (1 Samuel 20:14-16, NLT) “And may you treat me with the faithful love of the Lord as long as I live. But if I die, treat my family with this faithful love, even when the Lord destroys all your enemies from the face of the earth.” So Jonathan made a solemn pact with David, saying, “May the Lord destroy all your enemies!”” By saying this, Jonathan knew that David’s enemy was his own father – King Saul. Yet he made this pact with David. He even tried to reason with his father and defended David’s innocence. Due to life-threatening circumstances David had to run for his live. Nevertheless from then on, they were separated but their friendship stood till the end.

Wow. There is much to learn from the friendship of Jonathan and David. They were both princes of Israel, one by birth, the other by marriage. Both were in line to assume the throne of Israel. Both were mighty men of valor and were respected and trusted by the men they led in battle. Each had accomplished great feats, relying on God for victory. They were zealous, driven, resourceful, courageous, bold, meek, humble and so much more. They knew and respected government, wielded authority, and served those under and over them. They were loyal to one another and to their king. David would never lay a hand on Saul even though he was given the chance to. He revered God’s choice of appointing him as the first King of Israel.

In todays context, they could have been enemies and rivals, yet they set aside jealousy, resentment, bitterness, competition and lust for power (A THRONE HEY), choosing instead to become the closest of friends. They knew how and when to laugh, cry, show their emotions, share hopes and dreams together, thereby cementing their friendship forever. They were real men, who understood what it meant to lay down their lives for one another.

Wow, have you ever thought of dying for a friend? Even today, giving a lift, sacrificing precious time, going out of your way for a friend seems like a monumental task. What more to say dying for a friend? No exaggeration but sometimes I feel like people really take their friendships for granted. Selfish as we humans are we rarely prioritise anyone other than ourselves. Everything must have a benefit – even our friends. Really? Just because he’ll be a worthy connection for future businesses? Because she can help do your assignments. Because you need him to explain to you that formulae you didn’t really understand.

Seriously… how fake can we get? Sadly I’ve seen it. Heard of it.

How blessed are we if we ever are privileged enough to have just a small part of David and Jonathan’s friendship. So much to think.

Got me thinking too – what kind of friend am I?


Articles referred to: RCGFERVR

#571 Imagine dragons

This song, reminds me of Tiff. My best bud. I miss her.
But school life is getting easier to cope with, all I do is study, not to brag, or anything, but only dumb people do that. Ha, not saying I am, BUT IT AIN’T EASY. I need strength, in everything I do. Only leaning on God. With all happening around me, people just dying, on the streets, bombs, murders. Got me thinking again, what am I living for?
I just hope the answer can really and sincerely be for God.
When it comes to these matters, there’s so much to say, so much to think. And today I had a great deal of time thinking about it. The recent bombings in Boston, a friend’s mom’s passing (due to robbery Read more here) life seems so fragile. And in Psalms 37:2 it goes like this “For like grass, they soon fade away. Like spring flowers, they soon wither.”
So again, I ask, what am I living for?
ps/ family is coming over in 10 days!

What is real?

Devotions were rather intriguing today. Who I Am In Christ? by Neil T. Anderson was a gift from mum. Today’s was I am a friend in Christ and they were explaining what a friend means. And how much Jesus is of a friend to us, the very best kind btw. And he what it takes to love a brother as a friend is to be real; hence he quotes “The Velveteen Rabbit”

“What is real?” asked the Rabbit one day. “Does it mean having things that buzz inside and a stick-out handle?”
            “Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse “It’s a thing that happens to you when a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but really loves you, then you become real.”
            “Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.
            “Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are real you don’t mind being hurt.”
            “Does it happen all at once like being wound up?” he asked, “or bit by bit?
            “It doesn’t happen all at once. You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or have to be carefully kept. Generally by the time you are real, most of your hair has been loved, your eyes drop out, and you get loose in the joints, and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are real you can’t be ugly, except to the people who don’t understand.”
Plenty to ponder on.